How to be loving or an embodiment of Love?

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “The whole world is yours if you become the embodiment of love”, because through love alone can this world be changed. When we say with love, the matter doesn’t spoil, and if said with little hatred, the matter worsens. When a loving person says even harsh words, the other person does not feel bad, and it works to their well-being (instead).

Here, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan provides us with some beautiful keys on how to be loving.

Dadashri: If one understands the world exactly as it is, and then experiences it from that perspective, then he will become the embodiment of love. What does ‘as it is’ mean? It means that all living beings are innocent. They are flawless. It is because of illusion that one sees faults in others. It is an illusion if people appear good and it is also an illusion if they appear to have faults. The former is because of attachment and the latter because of detachment. In reality everyone is faultless. When you see faults in them, you cannot love them. So when you see the world as faultless, that is when pure love will arise. As long as we look upon others as being separate from ourselves, we feel a sense of ‘mine’ and ‘yours’. As long as you keep differences with the other person, you will have attachment towards your own. Those for whom we have attachment, we consider ‘ours’ and those with whom we feel detachment, we consider as belonging to others. A person with this kind of discrimination can never become an embodiment of love.

In worldly interaction, when we get hurt, we see the person through whom the hurt has come, to be at fault. “The pain I suffered was given by this person only”, that remains in the vision; therefore one is not able to become a loving person. When pain or suffering comes from someone, if not a single bad vibe goes out from our mind, no vibes arise in the ego even that’s when one begins being a loving form.

When does love arise? It is when you ask for forgiveness for all mistakes that have occurred so far. “Not a single fault has happened by the other person, but I am seeing them at fault, so that is my fault.” If such understanding prevails, one can become a loving person then.

Dadashri Teaches the Lessons of Love

"It is okay if someone hurts us, but we have to be careful that we do not hurt anyone. Only then can love flow and be experienced by others. Otherwise, if you want love to flow, it would not happen just like that."
- Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan

If someone keeps us respectfully all the time, there, our oneness and love prevails. But if someone insults us very badly, embarrasses us in front of everybody, and yet not even slightest of hatred arises towards him/her, that’s when one begins being a loving form. Not only that, if in some time, that person comes before us again, and on remembering that insult, hatred arises, even then love would not flow. This is how, gradually we have to be loving with everyone.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan explains how we can remain a pure loving person.

Questioner: What does it mean to become the embodiment of pure love?

Dadashri: If a person leaves after insulting you, and returns a few minutes later, if your love for him does not diminish, that is pure love. One needs to learn to have this kind of love, nothing else. You should have the kind of love that I show you. Will you be able to manage this before this life comes to an end? So now learn to have such a love.

So in the process of being a loving form, as a stepping, first of all, the hatred vacates from the core, meaning one becomes Vitdvesh. Later, when attachment is gone as well, one becomes Vitrag then, and that’s when love flows.

How to maintain love towards someone close?

Being a loving form with our close relative, with whom we have frequent arguments, is most difficult of all. Because, due to staying close to each other, many opinions have been formed for them. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan provides us with extremely beautiful and practical keys for being a loving person, when in such a situation.

1) Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “If someone is scolding him/her, you would oppose that person, won’t you? That is said to be your love for him/her.”

Let’s understand this in detail. At home, in family, at work-business or amongst peers, there are a few close-ones with whom, day-in and day-out, we have some or the other argument for sure. Now, while we are with that close-one, and some third person yells at him or her, then, at that time, if we take the side of the close-one and confront that third person, it means that we have love for that close-one.

No matter how many differences we have between us, yet during such time, we should take the side of the close person and stop the other person scolding him / her. Because we want to win (heart of) the close-person with love.

2) Param Pujya Dadashri says that, “If the other person (the close person) says something unpleasant, then you know, his nature is crooked, but I want to keep love only towards him/her.”

For example, sometimes it may also happen that our close one speaks to us harshly, taunts us, or even insults us. Even at that time, we have the resolution present within that, “his nature is such, but after all s/he is a good person.” So that’s how we can keep love with the close one.

Actually, people bound by karmic accounts of attachment and hatred only come close to each other. When these accounts unfold, interactions so happen that both end up causing pain to each other. During such incidences, regardless of what happens externally, but internally, if we do not let separation happen between the two, we take care of that, then love endures.

If someone speaks harshly or taunts us, and we also respond harshly against him/her, the other person gets upset and we also become upset, then love cannot flow. But if we maintain a positive outlook in response to the negative behavior of someone close, love shall be maintained.

3) Finally, offering an extremely practical key, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “Right now, both of you have a disagreement and you’ll leave the room; soon someone starts speaking ill about that person before you, then we should begin to speak in favour of our person. Standing on his/her side (despite the disagreement) is love.”Let’s understand this through a practical example. We want to maintain love with the close one, but constantly clashes are happening between the two. We’ve had a fight behind the closed doors, however, people can hear it outside. Then, when we come out, a third person comes to us and says, “He got so angry on you, isn’t it? Was talking nonsense!” Even then, we speak in favour of the close one, “Oh, the conversation happened in a slightly high pitch voice, but there is nothing adverse between us. He is very kind-hearted.”

So where the person with whom we are having a daily conflict, the other person is always insulting us, even there if some third person comes to us with some negative talk about him, and we do not join him even a bit in that negativity, instead, we highlight his/her positive aspects, then we can embody love with that close one. In such a situation, not just in our words and actions, but even in our thoughts, no negativity arises, then that definitely echoes in the other person’s being. When we speak negative about someone who is not present, then that negative vibration reaches to that person for sure. As a result, differences increase. If we want to be a loving being, then we must speak as if the absent person is standing right besides us and listening.

Whether the person close to us loves us or not, but we want to maintain such love. This only is the way to be loving.

Intent of Oneness With Everyone Is the Embodiment of Love

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that as much separateness leaves, that much pure love arises. Where there is love, there is unity. Where there’s love, there’s oneness there. When we become the loving form, the other person has oneness then. Four-five people of one’s own household feel like our own and others seem outsiders, where such separateness of yours-mine prevails, love cannot exist there either. At times, the other person may create differences, because they have with them the intellect that creates separateness. However, when we do not have a feeling of separateness for that person even in our mind, we are on the path to how to be loving.

What does an embodiment of love mean? Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan explains, “To become the embodiment of love is to see everything with oneness, and act with oneness. Get rid of your belief that others are different. You should feel as though everyone is a part of one big family.”

When total separateness goes, that’s when total pure love arises. This only is the way. One who becomes an idol of love, all seem as one only to him, they do not feel any separateness. As long as ‘This is mine and that is yours’, such separateness exists, until then one feels separate. Once that disease is gone, one becomes the idol of love!

The ultimate key to become a loving person is to see everyone as pure Soul. With that elemental vision, oneness remains with the other person, they are seen as innocent, and that’s when, we become a loving being (an embodiment of love). But that elemental vision should be one with Self-realization, not through intellectual arrangement.

Just like in case of bangle, we are aware that there is pure gold inside, similarly, in the elemental vision, no matter how the other person behaves, we can see only the Soul within him and the person is seen as completely innocent. This is how when the elemental vision results into an experience (of the Soul), we are said to have become the embodiment of love then.

Milestones on the Path to Being an Embodiment of Love

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “When can one become the embodiment of love? When one does not look for any rules or regulations.” If someone arrives late, finding their fault that, “Why did you come late?” is not called love. There is no attachment or hatred in love. In exchange of pure love, there is no demand for money, fame, increasing number of disciples or any of form of sensual gratification. Where there’s a desire for anything, there is no love there, it is attachment.

What do people in the world want? Liberated love. In where, there is no smell of selfishness or any kind of vested interest. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that God lives in two places. One where there is honesty, and the other where there is love. Because where there is love, loyalty, purity, that’s where God is.

Love itself is God. When one becomes godly, even an ugly looking person appears beautiful. Where everything is handled with love, where there’s no negotiation or transaction, there is love there. Where there is love, there is no trick or cheating there, and where there is treachery, there is no love there.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan also says that, “Until one attains the state where one becomes free of all insistence, the love of the world will not be acquired. Pure love is born out of non-insistence and pure love is the Supreme Lord.”

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “If any man in this world begins on the path of real love, he would become God. Real love is unadulterated and pure. Real love does not have motives of sex, greed or pride. Such unadulterated love turns man into God. The methods are all easy, but to become that is difficult.”

If we walk on the path carved out by Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, the way to be loving opens. He has disclosed the entire procedure. Now all we have to do is, walk on that road holding the vision.