How does love in marriage last?

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “You don’t have to win over the entire world, home alone is to be won.” The most delicate relationship in the house is that of husband and wife. Both are bound to each other by emotional ties. If either of the two gets even slightly hurt, the relationship could break, bringing an end to love between husband and wife.

A marriage takes place with an intention to make each other happy. However, after marriage, there arises the expectation of receiving happiness from each other, and when that expectation is unfulfilled, clashes occur. Adjusting to each other is what is called married life. Despite natural differences between the husband and wife, if both can accept each other as they are, then the relationship lasts and even love in marriage lasts. When does divinity come in the husband-wife relationship? When pure love arises between the two. Pure love means one in which there is no attachment-hatred. When the other person does good, we do not feel elated, and when one does bad, their fault is not seen.

There is no college that teaches how husband-wife should behave lovingly with each other, where we give exam, we pass, and then we get a certificate of an ideal husband or wife. If that was the case, we could assume that one will know how to live a married life. Here, from Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, we get many such practical keys through which husband-wife get solutions to the problems that arise in their daily interactions, through which even amidst the entanglements that prevail in the husband-wife interactions, with just a slight change in vision, it becomes possible for the couple to lovingly live a happy and divine married life.

Live with Love in ‘My Family’

One family is said to be the one where there is no distinction of ‘yours-mine’, all are one. In one family, there are no differences, no clashes. Both husband and wife are united, with regards to each other’s family as well. Where there is ‘yours-mine’, there is no peace there.

When do differences begin to arise between husband-wife? From the time they begin to point out each other’s faults. If food is not cooked good, the husband begins to crib, gets upset, and many even throw the plate off. On the other hand, when husband comes home tired after working hard the full day, the wife makes him hear non-stop her entire day’s complaints, and does not allow him to have even his dinner in peace. How this can be love in marriage? Husband-wife should know the art of ‘how to organize the family?’ The husband should eat whatever comes served in his plate. Also, the wife at home should serve her husband with love and peace.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that people of the developed society adjust in every situation.

Dadashri: When does one enjoy life? When the whole day passes without any stress or worries. How can one enjoy life when there are conflicts at home? Conflicts are unacceptable, especially at home. Conflicts may arise with neighbours and others, but why at home? At home one should live life as a family. What is family life? In family life, love should prevail and be present at all times. Where is the family life nowadays? The husband starts complaining about a meal that is not to his liking. Underdeveloped people! Developed people would set aside what they do not like, and eat the rest. Can this not be done? That is a family life. Go quarrel outside. What does “my family” mean? It should mean, “We do not have any conflicts.” You should adjust. You should know how to adjust within your family. Adjust everywhere.

Initially, there is oneness between husband and wife. Then gradually difference in thinking arises. There is no problem up to difference in thinking, but when it increases and results into difference of opinion and furthermore into difference of mind, there comes a crack in the relationship. For example, right from childhood, the wife may have seen her father help her mother in household chores, so after marriage, expectation arises in the wife that my husband too should help me out. Whereas, the husband may have grown up in a family where since childhood he might have not helped much in the household chores. This is where difference in thinking arises. The husband also expects that like his mother, his wife should sit before him and serve him fresh hot food. But nowadays, wife is not able to fulfill this expectation because of her job or other extenuating circumstances, and hence difference in thinking arises. In such a situation, one of them should adjust. That too, adjust with understanding, and not tolerate by pressing the spring. Resolve the situation with a proper understanding or communicating with each other so that no kind of bitterness remains inside.

Should remain as ‘one family’ with the in-laws as well. Generally, when the husband or wife uses their money or effort for the sake of their parents or family, the other partner picks up a quarrel. At that time, both should understand that each one has reverence for their parents. Since childhood, they have been nurtured to perform their duty of serving their parents. So, if any difficulty comes in their family, one rushes to help. At that time, instead of maintaining a separation of ‘yours-mine’, husband and wife should co-operate with each other, and offer help, “if there is any problem, please let me know.” Such co-operation should exist from both sides, equally.

Husband and wife are said to be life partners of each other, how can there be differences then? When husband misses his duty as a husband or wife misses her duty as a wife, then the clash is inevitable. Where there are clashes and quarrels, how can ‘one family’ exist there? Irrespective of the kind of financial, social or physical difficulties that may come in family, yet one family takes care of each other. If one person tears (apart the relationship), the other should keep fixing it, so that relationship is maintained, or else it would break. When husband and wife complement each other at home and they live together without any complaints, then love in marriage sustains!

Keep Departments of Both, Separate

Clashes arise when husband and wife start interfering in each other’s tasks. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives a beautiful solution, saying that husband and wife should keep each other’s departments separate. Suppose the responsibility of kitchen and household items comes under wife, in that case the husband should not shout or quarrel, “What did you buy?”, “How much did it cost?”, “Why so expensive?”, “Give me an account of the expense.” On the other hand, the responsibility of investment of money, investment in a business, buying property, etc. is that of the husband, so there, the wife should not interfere, “Where did you invest?”, “Why did loss occur?”, “Before investing, why didn’t you ask me?” Generally, set a budget for household expenses, and then give each other freedom in their own field. Nowadays, husband and wife are equally educated and earn equal salary. Therefore, they naturally end up interfering with each other. So there, if they divide the responsibilities of each other, then friction can be reduced.

Husband and wife should divide the departments amongst them, yet maintain a loving interaction between themselves. When there comes a difficulty in one’s department, the other should take care of the situation with love. Otherwise, one of the two will get depressed and end up taking a wrong step.

Not Suspicion and Possessiveness, but Love

The biggest problem between husband and wife gets created when comparison begins with someone else’s husband or wife. The wife does comparisons like, “So and so’s husband earns so much, he takes such a lot of care of his wife, he takes her out, he builds a bungalow for her.” Whereas, the husband does comparisons like, “So and so’s wife cooks so well, her dressing is nice, she takes such good care of children” etc. Husband and wife should never make such comparisons. Doing so hurts the other person a lot, and suspicion arises in them. Actually, where there is true love in marriage, there, even the slightest sight or thought pertaining to other’s husband or wife should not arise.

Husband and wife assert their right over each other, are possessive of each other, that also becomes a reason for conflict. Where husband and wife have extreme affection towards each other, have attachment, possessiveness arises there. Like, if the husband has more attachment with someone else in the house, a fear of insecurity arises in wife that what if his affection towards her reduces? She is not able to bear that. Consequently, she gets suspicious in every small matter. On the other hand, if wife comes home late at night or is laughing away while talking with someone on phone, the husband also gets suspicious of his wife. Knowingly or unknowingly, they cut off their partner from all their loving relationships, be it with his/her parents, siblings or friends. Eventually, one of the two gets suffocated and to maintain the relationship gets difficult.

Say, the husband liked some girl before marriage, and when wife comes to know about it, she feels jealous. Moreover, presently if that person happens to meet the husband, the wife feels a lot of burning within. At every instance, wife taunts the husband that, “I am bearing with you. The one you liked would not have tolerated it.” Then, no matter how hard the husband tries to justify, but the wife does not reconcile. On the other hand, after having a child, the wife’s complete attention drifts towards raising the child. At that time, the husband starts nagging his wife that, “You do not have any time for me, you don’t take care of me.” Due to the excessive affection for each other, hatred is bound to happen.

The married life of husband and wife is built on the foundation of trust. In there, doubting each other’s character causes a crack in their married life. Whatever the premarital relationship of a husband or the wife may have been, once one ties the knot and marries in the witness of Agni, both should forget all the past and now live with love. If every husband and wife recognize their own possessiveness and thinks about the harm it causes, then they can come out of it. If one is not able to recognize it directly, then upon recognizing what kind of expectations and insistences one has with each other, if one comes out of it, even then, gradually the interactions start becoming loving and love in marriage can sustain!

Conflicts with Attachment, Love in Companionship

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “Infatuation and attraction exist in the world, because of quarrels. Quarrels are vitamins for infatuation and attraction. If there were no quarrels, one could become enlightened.” He says that the attachment-based love is reactionary. When husband-wife get angry with each other, for some time they stay away from each other. As they stay away, again attachment increases; so, the husband-wife feel that their love is increasing. They come closer, and once again, from attachment, clashes happen. Where there is excessive attachment, there are more interferences going on there. That is not love. Whom we love, when not a single fault of theirs is seen in the entire life, that is called love. When between the husband-wife, “You are like this, and you are like that!” is going on, then that is not love. Where there is attachment, accusations are bound to happen there.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan concludes by saying, “Any household where conflicts between husband and wife is reduced, consider that there is less infatuation and attraction between them.” He gives a new name to the fights between husband and wife, listening to the description of which, husband and wife will spontaneously laugh at their own mistakes.

Dadashri: When two people fight a lot with each other, realize that there is excessive infatuation and attraction between them. I do not refer to these conflicts as fighting even if they slap each other. I call it parrot-play. It is like when parrots nudge at each other with their beaks but in the end, there is no bloodshed. Such is the play of parrots!

When we hear such truth, we laugh at our mistakes and foolishness. It is when one hears such truth that one feels a sense of detachment towards the worldly life, and one begins to question his past mistakes. Alas! Not only has one made mistakes but one has also suffered tremendously.

When husband-wife interact with each other like friends, then attachment reduces. If they live as companions and not like a husband-wife of each other, then quarrels reduce and love lasts.

Dadashri: So, ladies, you should understand that the mistakes which the husband is able to understand, we should not point out those mistakes. And the mistake that the wife is able to understand, the husband should not point that out.

Questioner: Many understand their mistake, but what if even then, they do not improve?

Dadashri: They will not improve by us telling them. On the contrary, by saying anything, they go reverse. Maybe someday, when he is gone thinking about it, at that time, we may suggest how this mistake can be corrected? Talk with each other face-to-face like friends. One should maintain friendship with wife. Shouldn’t you maintain that? You are keeping friendship with others. Do you fight like this with your friend, day in and day out? Would you directly go on showing them their mistakes? No! Because you want to keep the friendship intact. And this one is married, where will she go? This does not suit us. Make our life like a garden. There is no disagreement at home, nothing like that, such a house seems like a garden. And we do not allow any interference to happen to anyone in the house. If a small child is even slightly aware of his mistake, we cannot point that out to him. We can show only that mistake which he is not aware of. What do you think?

Questioner: That is right, it’s true.

Dadashri: Should you deliberately show mistakes? Why show that which she already knows? Does she show you faults; she shows you a lot of faults ….?

We are shoving her and establishing our ego of being a husband! One does not know how to take care of wife and calls himself a husband! The wife is said to have been taken care of when love (for the husband) in her mind never tends to cease. But he shoves her, so the bond of love breaks, and then she’ll say, some day if my mistake happens, he shouts and screams. Mistakes happen or not by a human? But our people have this deliberate habit of being a husband (being the superior one). there is an internal desire of being a husband (being superior to the partner), of pointing mistakes! Now today onwards, would you be able to understand this?

Questioner: Yes.

Dadashri: That was great madness to become husband (to consider oneself superior being a husband). So, one should not carry that air of being a husband. Being husband is said to be true when there is no revolt, that’s when you know this is called being a husband (ideally). Here, revolt is so immediate!

When Clashes and Fights Decrease, Love Increases

In the husband-wife relationship, differences arise over small things. Due to the difference of viewpoint, there are always differences, disputes and fights. Whether the other person takes it or not, both give unsolicited advice to each other due to their insistence of ‘I am right’. Many a times, even though the advice is right, due to prejudice, the two do not listen to each other’s talk.

Husband may be at a big position in his office, but at home, the wife thinks that husband does not understand anything at all! If the husband could not do just a little according to her will, the wife sulks and sits with a swollen face. Many wives go back to their father’s house and return only when their husband calls her back with respect. When her will is done, later again, the wife scolds the husband. The wife has control over the husband in every matter. Initially, the husband says yes to everything that his wife says. But later, the husband gets suffocated by wife’s overpowering. Finally, love in marriage decreases and clashes and arguments increase.

Many a times, husband too speaks in an insistent and authoritative tone, which hurts the wife’s ego. When small little arguments take the form of a big fight, some husbands even raise their hands on (slap or beat) their wife. A noble man never raises his hand on anyone. This in a big way disturbs the mental state of the wife. When a wife is disregarded by her husband, it creates a deep wound in her mind, which does not heal. The condition of many wives becomes like that of a cow tied to a nail. The worry of her children’s future and the fear of society keeps her bound (to the house). In the modern era, women who are financially independent, rather than tolerating all of this, get separated.

Thus, as fights and quarrels increase, that married life which had begun on such a loving note, gets totally disrupted. Both had got married with such eagerness, but later, when severely scorned by each other, the trust is lost. Despite living under the same roof, love and oneness never comes back.

There is a belief in the worldly life that if there are vessels at home, there will be noise. As fights happen between husband and wife, the love between them increases. Contrary to this belief, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan provides right understanding.

Dadashri: Do you have differences of opinion with your wife?

Questioner: How can a couple be called husband and wife without these differences?

Dadashri: Is that so? Is that the rule? Is it written somewhere that they cannot be called husband and wife if there are no differences of opinion between them? Are there not some differences in opinion?

Questioner: Yes.

Dadashri: Then does the husband-wife relationship not keep diminishing with increasing differences of opinions?

Questioner: Love keeps on increasing.

Dadashri: As love increases, does the difference in opinion not decrease?

Questioner: As the differences in opinions increase, and as the quarrelling increases, so does love.

Dadashri: Yes. It is not love but infatuation and attraction that increases. This world has not seen love. Love is very different from infatuation and attraction. You can see love as you are talking to me. Even if you were to get angry with me, you would still see that love and realize what love incarnate is. Are you getting anything out of what I am saying?

Questioner: Yes absolutely.

Dadashri: Yes, be warned, otherwise you will find yourself becoming a fool. Can there ever be love in such relationships? How can you expect to see love in others when you do not have it yourself? It is only when you have love within you that you will see it in others. Beware! When you search for real love, know that you will not find it. The so-called love of nowadays is only selfish love. People are taking advantage of each other whenever they can, whether they know it or not. One is enjoying the other without regards for the other, and that is not love; it is exploitation.

In order to live a loving married life, husband and wife should aim to reduce disagreements and fights. Rather than hoping to receive love from the other, have the goal to become lovable yourself. The husband and wife should develop respect for each other and for each other’s point of view as well. If husband-wife respect each other, the children also will see them and learn. It is said in the scriptures that, “Yatra naryastu pujayante, ramante tatra devta” meaning, “Where women are respected, there the Gods reside.” Women are called the primordial power; they are said to be the Goddess of Nature. Just as we are doing the puja of Mataji (Goddess), similarly, give respect to the woman in our house. The wife runs the house, looks after the husband’s parents, takes care of all when ill, so then, the husband also should take care of wife. On the other hand, in every little thing, be it car driving, selection of clothes or household work, the wife embarrasses the husband who is managing big projects in the outside world. This hurts the husband’s ego as well. Therefore, the wife also should behave respectfully with the husband.

Irrespective of the kind of difficulties that may come in marital life, if the way of seeing them (the difficulties) changes and they get resolved with the right understanding, then the fundamental values can be re-established and marital life becomes divine then. Love in marriage then sustains!

Recognizing One’s Nature, Let’s Act with Love

“Ati Parichayaat Avagnya” meaning, upon whom excessive love comes, there only dislike develops, that’s the human nature. Day and night, the husband-wife live with each other in one house, so they very closely recognize each other’s nature’s flip (negative) side. Then, they get fed up of each other. But actually, if both recognize each other’s nature and work accordingly, then they can interact without attachment and hatred.

Generally, wives love to go shopping whereas husbands do not like to. Wives complain that their husband does not take interest in shopping with them, they either do not come at all or if they come, they spoil the face and just sit in a corner. The husband likes to travel and the wife does not like that, then there the husband complains that wife likes to be at home only, she does not come out anywhere. In such a situation, if both let go a little and agree to what the other person likes, then the other person’s feelings are taken care of.

If one of the two has the nature of pride, then by appreciating them, and not letting them down in little-little things, interactions will start getting smooth. If one of the two has a greedy nature, then upon seeing something go waste, one gets upset within. At that time, if one understands that in the wastage incurred, the loss may be worth Rs.500-1,000, but by picking up a quarrel over it, the loss would be worth a lakh of rupees; with such an understanding, the fight stops there. If one of the two has a hyper nature and the other is calm in nature, so when they get late while going out somewhere, the nagging begins. There, by giving an earlier than scheduled time to the slower one, one could avoid the clash. Women have the tendency to keep a note of any untoward thing that has happened to them. So, if wife has felt hurt somewhere, she will say, “This has wounded my heart, and I shall remember that throughout my life!” At that time, the husband should take care not to instigate her further, but rather fix the situation and apologize that, “Sorry, please do not feel disheartened.” Then, the wife also will calm down.

Thus, if both recognize each other’s nature and adjust accordingly, then the interaction will be beautiful. But when would husband-wife recognize each other’s nature? For that, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives a beautiful key here.

Questioner: Please explain how do we recognize. Explain to us how slowly and subtly can a husband recognize his wife with love.

Dadashri: When can you recognize? One, when we give an equal chance. Give her space. Like when we sit to play a board game, both are given equal chance, and hence there is fun in the game. But, what equal chance would this one give? I give an equal chance.

Questioner: How do you give? How is it given practically?

Dadashri: Do not allow my mind to think that she is separate from me. Whether she talks favourable or unfavourable, we treat her the same, this is how we do, so that no pressure comes onto her.

So, must recognize the other person’s nature that this is how it is. Accordingly, must find out the other alternatives.

Giving an equal chance means while taking any decision, not putting any sort of pressure on the other person, allowing the other person to speak and not forcing things to be done as per our own will; that’s when we recognize the other person’s characteristics and the other person also blossoms. But if a person dictates the movements of the other person according to his/her own will, then the other person will keep suppressing things in his mind which will eventually spring up like a spring coil.

Where there’s Selfless Surrender, there is Love there

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “Real worldly love is when one completely sacrifices and surrenders, without regards to his or her ‘safe side’ – selfish interest. Nowadays such sacrifice is very rare and difficult.” In a husband-wife relationship, one does not have to see one’s own safe side. “How much is mine in this?”, “What do I gain?”, such selfishness or vested interest should not be there. Once completely surrendered to the other person, in return how much affection he/she holds for me, such calculations are not to be done. Where there’s a loving relationship, no matter how much trouble, pain or obstacles come, one keeps doing penance and goes on taking adjustments. There is no thought whatsoever of one’s own safe side. On the contrary, there is a complete readiness to sacrifice one’s self for the other. There is no thought at all of one’s own self. This is how one totally sacrifices their own self. When there is such sincerity towards each other, then even the Nature gives him/her a very high reward.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that the sincerity between the husband and wife should be so much that even if the other person (the partner) cheats, our love towards him/her does not break. Such love is difficult to be found.

Dadashri: No matter how many terms or conditions of an agreement or promises are broken by the other, the one with real love continues to remain sincere. Such sincerity remains in actions and also in the eyes of the one with real love. That is when you will know that, that is where the real love is. So look for this kind of love. What you see in the world is not real love, nothing but a market place of false love, ordinary love.

Husband-wife live together with love until their vested interest is served, and when their vested interest is not served, they separate, then how can this ever be called love in marriage? If the husband brings her a diamond necklace on the marriage anniversary, wife becomes happy-happy. When the wife serves his favourite delicious dishes, then the husband also becomes happy-happy. And later, if the husband forgets their anniversary or the wife did not cook well, then the same love breaks. Due to selfishness, attachment arises. Hence, where it peaks or troughs, that is not love. Love flows constantly.

Here, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives us a beautiful understanding of what surrender is like in the love of husband-wife.

Dadashri: Love worth mentioning used to exist in the past. If the husband went abroad for a prolonged period, the wife’s chit (inner attentive vision) would remain with her husband her entire life. She would not think about anyone else. Nowadays if the husband does not return within two years the woman will find someone else. How can this be called love? It is all a waste. In love there is surrender and devotion.

Love is a constant internal attraction. It stays on one’s mind the whole day. Marriages end up in two ways: either they will thrive or they will end. Love that overflows will subside again. That which overflows is infatuation and attraction, so stay away from love that overflows. The attraction in love should be for the person rather than his or her physical condition. The love should remain the same even if the external body is diseased or is disfigured.

In anticipation of receiving warmth and comfort from each other, the husband-wife get married and be each other’s. But after marriage, the picture is something different only, the design of which is given to us by Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan here.

Dadashri: Nowadays girls only agree to marry after a close scrutiny of their suitors. Does that mean that they do not fight with their husbands? Then how can that be called love? Love lasts forever. Love is unchanging; whenever you see it, it is always the same. One can find comfort and solace in only this kind of love.

You may want to shower her with love, but when you see her sulking and angry, what would you do with your love then? It would be better to throw it down the drain. What good is the love of a person who goes around sulking? What do you think?

Questioner: That is true.

Dadashri: In love there should be no sulking or moodiness. That is the kind of love you will find from me.

Where there is true love, there is no sulking and convincing, there are no surging emotions also. Yet the interaction is soothing and well-balanced. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan explains this by saying, “We should love everyone in the house equally. But what should you tell her, ‘I do not like without you.’ In worldly life, we have to say this! But maintain an unwavering love.” If you understand this secret, then the life of husband and wife becomes divine in true sense.

Once Bound Together, Then Never Separate, That Is Love

Nowadays, a minor argument between husband and wife, one of the two gets upset over it, and the matter reaches up to the point of divorce. Not just that, the reason behind getting upset also are very trivial. Looking at it closely, one’s own attachment, expectations, insistence and opinions turn out to be the main reasons behind the divorce.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that where over trivial matters, divorce happens, how can love exist there?

Questioner: Can one live without love?

Dadashri: Whom you loved immensely, s/he took divorce, how can one survive then? Why are you not saying anything? Must say something, right?

Questioner: If it is true love, then one survives. If it is attachment, then one cannot live

Dadashri: You said it right. We love and the other person takes divorce, then damn that love! How can it be called love? Our love should be such that never breaks, no matter what happens, it does not break. Hence, if it is true love, one is able to live.

Questioner: Only if it is attachment, then one cannot live.

Dadashri: Love born out of attachment is all useless. Never get trapped in such love. Love should be meaningful. It’s true that nobody can live without love, but love should be meaningful.

So, did you understand, the meaningful love? Search for such love. Now, do not find such love where s/he takes divorce tomorrow morning. These are not reliable.

If husband-wife see the positives of each other, then the relationship prevails. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan explains this through a beautiful example, here.

Dadashri: Which family in India does not have any fights at home? So, many a times, I have to go on explaining over and over to both of them and resolve the situation. They are all set to part ways otherwise. So many people have this! But what can happen? There’s no other way! All of it separates due to the lack of understanding and one doesn’t let go of the grudges, and it’s all about ignorance. And then, when I explain, they will say, No. There, it’s not like that, it’s not like that.

​Questioner: Although they are together, they live as if they are separated.

​Dadashri: Just like they’ve divorced.

Questioner: You brought them all together.

Dadashri: Can’t you manage for one life? Resolve it somehow, one way or the other. If have got together for one life, then shouldn’t you resolve with the one who’s got together?

This is our culture. They keep fighting and both turn eighty years old, yet after he dies, on the thirteenth day, the wife performs Saravani (a ritual). In the Saravani, your Uncle relished this, he relished that, she orders everything from Mumbai and puts in there. So, a kid asks the lady, to the eighty-year-old Aunty, “Granny, six months back, this Uncle had made you fall. So at that time, you were talking adversely about Uncle.’ ‘Yet, I will never get a husband like him’, says the old lady. From the entire life’s experiences, she finds out that he was very good from within. His nature was difficult, but from within…

Questioner: He was good.

Dadashri: So, she could find out that such a husband is hard to find. She how many findings would arise? It is hard to find how he would be from within! Would not know how he would be from within! This is all prakruti. Gets wild and all of that. But these are the values (sanskar) of our Indian culture! What is the lady saying? Made me fall is a different thing, but I will not get a husband like him! This is the Arya womanhood of India!

No matter what difficulty comes, maintain the married life - that’s our tradition. However, in certain situations, where at home, there is money being wasted in addiction, there happens domestic violence etc., not having food to eat, and inspite of all efforts, there is no hope of any improvement being possible, then out of compulsion, one can part ways. But before taking the decision to divorce over small trivial things, one should think that what is the guarantee of finding love for sure after the divorce? In case you remarry, wouldn’t problems arise there? Just because our thoughts do not match, there is no need to separate. Instead, must complete the marital life that has already commenced.

Many couples would come to Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan with the readiness to take divorce. His (Dadashri’s) intent for those people would be, “Learn to live life, may all be happy, may children be wise, may children imbibe good values.” On attaining the right understanding from Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, so many people’s homes, which were on the verge of breaking, would get mended. Love in marriage would be restored and the marital life would become happy.