Are religious rituals significant for dying person?

In society, many types of worldly beliefs prevail, like after death one wanders for thirteen days. For their peace, they are given water on the eleventh day, which is one of the rituals after death. Charity to Brahmins is done so that they attain a higher life-form. According to some beliefs, the Soul becomes the size of a thumb and remains seated on the roof. It is also said that only when the deceased is assured that his loved ones will be taken care of by the householders, does he get liberated. What is the purpose behind doing all of this? Does the Soul really wander for thirteen days? Should one or should one not perform the twelfth and the thirteenth day ritual?

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives a very accurate and clear explanation to these questions related to post death rituals. He has revealed the facts as is, in response to the questions asked by an inquisitor, eager to know the truth.

The Secret of the Rituals after Death:

Actually after death, at that very moment, the Soul goes directly from one body to the other life-form. When the person’s last breaths are on, the Soul is pulled from the body. When the Soul gets pulled and reaches another womb, only then it leaves this body, and takes a new birth. Like a snake is coming out from one burrow and is entering into another, the Soul, on one hand, is coming out of this body and is taking birth into the other.

Suppose, one is to leave their body in Ahmedabad and is to take birth in Baroda, then the Soul, without leaving the body, stretches up to the place it has to go, it can become that long. When it’s time for the father’s sperm and the mother’s ovum to come together, it enters there in the vagina. Until it has found a new place, mostly, it doesn’t leave the old place. Due to its property of elasticity, it gets longer, and keeping one end in the old body, it takes the other end into the new effective body, only then it leaves the old body.

At the time of death, one immediately assumes another body, so saying the Soul wanders is not true. But the purpose behind establishing these beliefs in the society and performing rites and rituals is that the family members, upon the death of their relative, spend their time in auspicious activities. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan has explained the purpose behind most of these worldly beliefs in a perfect manner.

Reading of Scriptures Done to Reduce Moha (Illusory Attachments):

At the time of death, everyone has experienced that the biggest of the illusory attachments tend to cease, and for some time, dispassion sets in. Because death is such an event in which the perishability of the body is understood. The body, the body’s pleasures and the body’s relationships for which, all our life, we have done attachments-hatred, love and passions (raag-dwesh, moh, kashay), one day we have to leave that body here only and go away, only death makes us have that realization.

Garudapurana is arranged after death, one of the most observed rituals after death. It describes the progression of life after death. People who listen to the description of hell could stop doing wrong deeds immediately and they feel like breaking free from these wanderings in the world, life after life. At the time of the death of a relative, when there is a sense of bereavement, reciting the Gita develops people's interest in spirituality. By realizing one's Self (Soul), the desire for salvation is strengthened.

Many times, this detachment lasts for a long time and the outlook towards life gets changed. Most of the time, such dispassion lasts for some time and then life goes back to the way it was. But the purpose of reading these scriptures was to direct life in the right direction; however, the purpose has been forgotten, and only rituals have remained. Today, people do these death rituals out of peer pressure or due to societal pressure.

Importance of Doing the Twelfth-day Ritual, the Thirteenth-day Ritual:

After the death of a relative, there was a specific purpose behind observing mourning and organizing religious activities for certain days. But nowadays, the focus while doing these rituals is not on well-wishing for one's relatives, rather it is more on enhancing one's reputation.

So, it is not appropriate to do rituals after death for the sake of being praised in the society. But at the same time, it is also not right to not do rituals out of greed in order to save the cost. If the expense of feeding people and doing charity is not affordable to us, then it is not obligatory to do these rituals by incurring debt. Such that the Soul of the relative rests in peace and the people at home are at ease, one should spend according to one's power to bear the expense.

Param Pujya Dadashri gives a beautiful explanation of the necessity of worldly actions.

Questioner: How significant are the rituals done on the twelfth and the thirteenth day after a person’s death, such as the distribution of utensils and holding a feast for people?

Dadashri: That is not mandatory. People simply do this for the purpose of receiving praise. And if they do not spend money in this manner, they become more and more greedy. If one has been given two thousand rupees, he does not spend it on feeding people, and he will keep accumulating money. So if he spends money in this way, then his mind gets purified and his greed does not increase. But this is not something that is mandatory. One should do this if he can afford to do so, and no problem if he cannot.

Purpose Behind Shaving the Head:

If one’s family member has died, the head is shaved to show respect to the deceased. Here, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan reveals an interesting secret behind it.

Questioner: After someone dies in the house, there must be some reason to shave the head, right?

Dadashri: How do villagers come to know that his father is dead? So if he shaves his head, shaves off his moustache, then people would know that someone has died at this person’s place. So then, they don't talk any such talks like, 'Come with me to attend a marriage.' This is the custom in India, it cannot be without any intent behind it! If he has shaved his head, then would someone ask, 'How is your father's health?' No, because his head is shaved, so he would understand. Don’t you need something for identification?