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How to apologize? I hurt someone.

How to apologize

Questioner: What should we do if we have hurt someone so badly that he is depressed?

Dadashri: Do pratikraman. And if you happen to meet that person again, then must tell him that the mistake was all yours and that you were insensitive. Tell him that you are sincerely sorry and that you are asking for his forgiveness. His wounds will heal when you say this.

Questioner: What should we do in order not to suffer the effects of behaving contemptuously towards others in the past?

Dadashri: For acts of contempt there is no other solution but to do repeated pratikramans. You have to keep on doing pratikraman until that person comes around. And if you happen to meet him face to face, then you should speak to him nicely and ask for forgiveness. Say to him, "I have made a very big mistake. I am a complete fool. I have no sense." When you discredit yourself, the other person feels better and his hurt will lessen.

I can see the effect of contempt from previous lives; therefore I am telling you not to have contempt towards anyone. Do not mistreat people. If you treat manual workers with contempt, they will take revenge in their next life. They may even become a snake and bite you out of vengeance. Contempt will never free you from its grip. Only pratikraman can save you.

Related Quotes:

1) If you give the slightest pain to any living being, then in the form of pain, the pain-giving-karma will give you its 'fruit'. So think before you hurt any living being.

2) If we create an environment where someone is hurt, then it will create Conflict (affliction) within us.

Try It Yourself:
1- (a) I don't want to hurt any living entity but still it happens ?what should I do?

(b) Every morning when you begin your day, you must repeat this five times: "I do not wish to hurt a single living being through my mind, my speech, or my body." You will lighten the burden of your responsibility because in reality you only have control over your intent.

You should every day make a very sincere and strong intent, with the same internal focus as one has while counting money say it with same concentration and say it loud.

2- (a) I can only see fault of others in family, This is pinching.

Do Pratikraman

Dadashri: For example if you hurt Chandulal, then you have to invoke the one who is free from, thoughts, speech, and actions; bhav karma, dravya karma, and no karma; of 'Chandulal' (or the name of the person you hurt) and all illusions attached to that name. This One is the 'Shuddhatma Bhagwan' (the pure Soul). Then say, "Dear Shuddhatma Bhagwan, I have spoken in a harsh manner and that is a fault of mine. I am repenting for this mistake. I am asking for your forgiveness. I am resolving not to repeat this mistake. Please give me the strength not to repeat the mistake again." Think of Dada (The fully enlightened Lord within The Gnani Purush) or Shuddhatma Bhagwan when you do your pratikraman. First do alochana, or confession of your mistake. Then do pratikraman, which is the actual asking of forgiveness that will cleanse your mistakes, and lastly do pratyakhyan, which is your resolve never to repeat the mistake.

(b) "When you begin to see everyone in your family as faultless, then you will know that your pratikraman is true. People definitely are faultless; the whole world is faultless. You are bound by your own mistakes, not by theirs."

(c) When you understand this, you will be able to resolve everything.
Reference:

Book Name: Pratikraman - The key that resolves all conflicts (Page #39 and Page #40)

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