How to control anger in a relationship?
Questioner: If someone makes us very angry and we lash out, and then we continue to feel internal turmoil, should we do pratikramans more than once?
Dadashri: If you do pratikraman wholeheartedly a few times, everything will be resolved. For example, say, "Dear Dada Bhagwan, a very grave fault has occurred. Severe anger has taken place. How much hurt must have resulted in the other person? I am sincerely repenting for this and asking for his forgiveness with you as my witness. I am sincerely asking for your forgiveness."
Questioner: When prolonged arguments have occurred, the result within is a greater rift and distance from him. For the small disagreements, we do pratikraman several times. Can we do just one long pratikraman to cover everything or do we have to do individual pratikramans for each fault?
Dadashri: Do as many as you can individually. If it is not possible, do them collectively. If you come across too many at once, do them all together and state that you are doing them collectively because you can not do pratikraman for each and every one of your faults. Address your predicament to Dada Bhagwan and the message will surely reach him.
Questioner: When we become very angry with someone, we do instant pratikraman for this mistake. Does the effect of our anger continue to linger within that person, or does it stop as soon as we do the pratikraman?
Dadashri: You should not concern yourself with what is happening within the other person. Just keep washing your 'clothes' and keep them clean. Besides, you have no control over your anger. You become angry even though you do not want to. Do you get angry?
Questioner: Yes. It happens.
Dadashri: Do not worry about that, continue doing pratikraman. Make 'Chandulal' do the pratikraman and he will handle the situation however it needs to be handled. If you become too concerned about it, you will ruin your task. Your task is to remain aware of the faults that happen.
Chandulal* = Whenever Dadashri uses the name 'Chandulal' or the name of the person Dadashri is addressing, the reader should insert his or her name for exact understanding.
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