How to prevent conflict in a relationship?
Questioner : What should we do if we do not want to get into a conflict but the other person comes to pick a fight? Say one is very careful and aware, and the other is bent on fighting, is conflict not inevitable?
Dadashri : How long can a person fight with a wall? If you were to run into a wall, what should you do to it? Should you fight with it? Similarly those with whom you come into conflict are walls. What should you do in that situation? Recognize and accept they are walls. Then there will be no problems.
Questioner : If we remain silent, the other person may mistake our silence as admission of our guilt and in turn may fight even harder.
Dadashri : This is only your belief that because you remained silent it happened like this. If a man gets up to go to the bathroom in the night and bumps into the wall, does that mean that the wall bumped into him because he remained silent? Whether you say something or not, there is no effect of that; it has nothing to do with it. It is not true that your silence has any effect on the other person and neither is it true that your speech has any effect on them. It is simply interplay of scientific circumstantial evidences. No one has even the slightest authority or power in this world, so who is going to get away with anything? If this wall has the power to do anything, then so does this body. Do we have the authority or the power to fight with this wall? In the same way, what is the point of getting angry and fighting with people? The other person definitely does not have the independent control or power, so why don't you also become like the wall? When you scold your wife, the God within her is making note of what you are doing. If she starts to scold you, you should become like the wall, and the God within you will help you.
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