How to Control Anger: Techniques for Managing Anger Issues

When it comes to managing anger issues, people usually say, ‘Don’t get angry’, ‘Stop getting angry’, ‘Control the anger’. But how can anger stop just like that? Anger is a result, an effect! Effects are a result of the causes made. By suppressing anger, once or twice it may seem to have calmed down, but then, just like a spring springs back with force, similarly anger flares up with double the intensity. So, if we stop the causes of anger, then the anger will stop!

Anger is a weakness. When does anger come? Generally, when someone does not understand us, when the difference of viewpoints arises, when things happen contrary to our expectations, when what we do not like happens, some loss happens, someone insults us, false accusations are made, that is when we get angry. Many a times we cannot see what is ahead, we do not understand what to do next, at that time also we get angry. When anger arises within only, even then it creates a lot of suffering inside; and when knowingly or unknowingly, we get angry at someone, we are causing extreme pain to that person. What should be the limit of this anger? Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that our anger should not hurt the other person, that is the limit of anger. Our anger gives pain to us alone; it does not hurt anyone else—that much anger is tolerable.

Problems keep arising because of husband-wife, parents-children, boss-employees not being able to understand each other. In every relationship, we feel the other person is doing wrong, and therefore we attempt to correct them by scolding them, by getting angry. As a result, arguments, clashes and disagreements increase. This ends up in we not speaking to each other, so despite living under the same roof, the two do not talk to each other. Sometimes, the rift in the relationship gets mended; whereas sometimes it does not get resolved through the entire life. The latter happens if no significant effort is taken for managing anger issues.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “Today itself, the anger will not stop. One has to recognize anger, what is anger? How does it arise? How can one stop anger just like that?” Here, through practical examples, we get a detailed understanding of anger, its nature, its causes, the harm it causes and the remedies to come out of it. With this understanding, we get the precise keys or ways to manage anger not by controlling anger from the outside, rather by making changes within.