What are the causes of anger?

When You Lack Insight

Anger means lack of understanding. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that a person gets angry when s/he does not understand how to face the situation. Do not people say, “I didn’t understand what to do, hence anger happened!” When one is not able to understand how to deal with the other person and he tries to finish the work, one gets angry.

One of the most common causes of anger is not being able to see. Suppose we are walking in the dark and a wall comes in our way; when we cannot see it, we bump into it. Similarly, when we do not have an insight, in a certain situation we are not able to find the way ahead, in other words, when we are not able to see, then we get angry.

When the Speed of Thoughts Does Not Match

Many a times, our thoughts are fast and the other person’s thoughts are slow. So, when the other person does not get what we are saying or he does not understand, then we get upset. Say our revolution of thoughts is 5,000, and the other person’s revolution is only 500, in such a situation, we do not know how to go to his level and explain and hence we run out of patience. Consequently, we end up getting angry.

When Things Do Not Happen According to What We Decide (Our Will)

This one is among the most common causes of anger. If we investigate carefully, mostly we get angry when our will is not done. For example, at home, when children do not listen to us, we get angry. When the spouse does not do as per our expectations, we get angry. When we are children, we get angry when our parents do not fulfill our wish. Even at work, when people working under us do not do as we ask them to, we get angry. Our will is not done; so, to get the work done by intimidating the other person, we get angry and end up into a fight with them.

When We Hold an Opinion

This is another common reason of anger. Some people, even when they treat us poorly, we still do not get angry with them. Whereas, with few people, although they have treated us nicely, we get upset with them. Why does this happen? The reason for this is that due to the experiences we have had with them previously, we have formed some opinion or prejudice for them.

For example, at home, of the two sons, if one is very mischievous; then parents form an opinion for him that, “he always plays mischief.” And if the other son is wise, then for him, “this son is very good”, such an opinion gets set. Thereafter, even if the good boy comes home doing a big mischief, parents do not get that angry on him. Whereas, the mischievous son does even a little mischief, then parents get very angry on him.

When Pride Is Hurt

This is one of the most common answers to the most frequently asked question, “Why do I get angry so easily?”. Anger is a guard (protector) of the passion of pride. We may be believing that, “I am very intelligent, I understand everything”, and then, when someone insults us, disrespects us in front of others, finds faults in our work, does not give us the desired respect, then our pride is hurt. At that time, anger arises upon the other person.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “When one finds an obstruction to his pride, when his pride is being wounded, that is when he gets angry.”

When Faults (of Others) Are Seen

Anger arises when, bearing our viewpoint, we see faults of the other person. Everyone standing on their own beliefs, is seeing the other person from one’s own point of view, and based on that, we call the other person right or wrong. If the other person does something against our belief, we get angry. When the other person’s view point is seen, the anger subsides.

When Accusation Comes

This is another common reason for why do we become angry. Sometimes, where we are right, yet we are accused that “you’re wrong”, we get angry. For instance, even if we have not stolen anything, yet we are accused that you have stolen this; it is someone else’s fault, and we are told, “This is your fault!”, we get angry. Because, apparently, we feel injustice is being done there.

When Seen as the Doer

We are walking on the road, and suddenly, a rock tumbles down the hill and hits our head, we start bleeding, do we get angry there? No, because we are not able to see whose fault it is. But when some children are playing cricket and the ball hits our head, we get angry. Because there, we can see that the boy hit the ball.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “It appears to a person that, ‘This person is indeed the one doing it.’ No one can ever hit another person intentionally. Therefore, whether a stone rolls down from a hill or a person throws a stone at you, the two are actually the same. However, due to illusion it seems that, ‘This person is doing it.’ No one in this world has the ability to go to the toilet [at will]...”

Anger over Dependents

Many say, “I get angry. I am short tempered.” But if anger would be arising due to your short-tempered nature, then it (anger) would be equal on everyone. We immediately get angry at home on our children, on wife, on neighbours, or on people who work under us. But we do not get angry on the boss in the office. We do not get angry at the police when he catches us for license. Meaning, we become quiet in front of superiors. Thus, anger does not arise due to our nature being short-tempered.

When at home, a tea cup breaks at the hands of the son-in-law, we say, “No problem. Hope you didn’t get burnt?” But when the cup breaks at the hands of the servant, we scold him out of rage. That means, we get angry quickly at those whom we consider inferior to us.