Where and why do we compete with others?

Where in the world does competition not exist? There is competition at home, in family, in earning money, at work-business, or even in society, country and religion.

Competition in Family or Society

From childhood itself, competition begins; we compete with our peers. When small, two children fight for one toy. Both think that I should get more toys, I should get the good toy. Amongst students, competition happens in studies or for securing the first rank. Or else parents will tell the child, “You brought seventh rank? That one came first, learn something from him!” Children get suffocated as a result of being constantly compared with others.

Also, competition happens amongst youngsters. “He comes to college through a bike or a car, and I come on a bicycle or by bus.” Then, the other person decides in his mind that, ‘when I grow up, I also shall earn and buy a car!’ In many youngsters, adverse competition also happens. Boys will say, “I have so many girlfriends, you don’t have any?” And girls will also say, “I have made so many boyfriends, you don’t have any boyfriend?”

After marriage when wife comes, she competes with the younger sister-in-law and the elder sister-in-law of the house that how does my importance increase in the house! Wife mostly believes that my cooking is the best. And if the husband comes and praises someone else’s cooking, she’ll say, “Go to their house, they only will feed you!” Then, the husband has had it. If at home, husband gives more importance to the younger or the elder sister-in-law, then, then wife starts trying to become like her. Amidst men, or between the two brothers, there is competition over earning money. Where father is giving more importance to the elder son, gives lesser attention to the younger one, then the younger son feels the burning sensation inside. So, “I also shall keep father happy and be his favorite!”, such competition happens.

Competition continues between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law as well. When daughter-in-law cooks, the mother-in-law points out mistakes and says, “This is how you prepare (this dish)? My son does not relish this.” Then, the daughter-in-law also retaliates, “I am preparing food for your son since five years. You’ve come just today.” There is a constant competition going on between the two with regards to their lifestyle and mannerisms. If not outside, the fight is on in the mind.

Even husbands compete with their wives and vice-versa. Wife thinks, “I only am taking care of the house; the husband just does not understand anything.” If someone asks, the wife says, “Leave it no! He is a lazy-bone; he doesn’t know anything regarding social norms. I only have to do everything.” When wife marries and comes home, she says, “At my father’s house, we have these many cars, these many servants.” And the husband says, “Our family’s values are very high! They are nowhere to be found!” If the wife is educated and intelligent, is earning more than the husband, then the husband cannot tolerate that, and hence insults her on every small occasion. I am fundamentally superior than the other, and the other is inferior to me - ego likes to prove that. When husband and wife go to a party, the wife is sociable, so she blends in nicely with others, and the husband is reserved, so no one comes closer to him. Then, while returning home, the husband says, “Why were you laughing so much while talking to that person?” And the quarrel begins. Even when husband is laughing and talking to some other woman, out of suspicion, the wife feels jealous.

One gets to see a very intense competition during the family marriage ceremonies. During this time, people compete with others for getting famous in the public. He spent thirteen crores; I will spend twenty-one crores. I will take the guests abroad and organize a destination wedding there. In lunch, he had kept fifty-one dishes; I will have hundred and one. The cost of his dish was two thousand rupees, so I will take that which costs five thousand - it doesn’t matter if food goes in the dustbin. It goes on even in women, that she wore a saree worth one and a half lakh, I will wear worth two lakhs. The younger sister-in-law purchased a purse worth one and a half lakh, I will buy worth two and a half lakhs, that too branded! Crores of rupees get wasted in making a show of it, and finally, they go into the gutter!

There is also competition between states and countries in terms of power, army, progress, finance, etc. If in one country, a 108-storey building is built on three acres of land, then the other country builds even taller building on eleven acres of land. However, no country stays a superpower for long and yet countries compete with each other.

Competition for Earning Money

There is a constant competition for earning money in a job or a business. If there are mill owners in business, there is competition between them that, this one has two mills, we just put up the third new one. Two thousand people work for him, we have four thousand workers, so our business is bigger! In production, our factory is ahead than the others. Even the annual turnover is higher than the other companies. So, in this business, our company is number one! But this rank does not last forever. If today, one company is ahead, then after a few years, another company comes ahead.

As a rule, competition happens between similar businesses or same-status jobs. For a stockbroker, competition arises with a stockbroker, not with a lumberjack. Similarly, for a teacher, competition arises with a teacher, and not with the Prime Minister. So, competition does not happen with someone who is far ahead than us, nor does it happen with ones behind us.

Even in job, colleagues tend to compete with each other. At work, generally, everyone is moving ahead in the hope of getting a promotion. So many efforts are put in to outrace each other, to please the boss, etc. in order to get promoted. Param Pujya Dadashri says that, “Where there is a superior, there has to be competition there!” Competition happens in salary also. If someone else’s salary is twenty-five thousand, and one’s own salary is sixty thousand, one feels that, “We have a salary of sixty thousand, his is twenty-five thousand, so we need not bother!” And where one’s peer’s salary is more than his, then one feels, “We perform the same job, yet why is he paid more salary?” Thus, competition takes place.

Param Pujya Dadashri had a contract business. In matter of business competition, he had arrived at a conclusion, which we get to know here, in his own words.

Dadashri: Regarding money, I did this calculation. I said, “If we keep increasing this money, how far will it go?” I calculated that nobody is allotted number one here in this world. People say, ‘Ford is number one.’ But four years later, somebody else’s name is being heard. That means, no one’s number one lasts forever, and here for no reason we keep running around, what’s the meaning in that? The first horse gets the prize, second is given a little, and the third one is given some. The fourth has to slog and slog and then die? I said, ‘Where would I get into this racecourse?’ These people give even fourth, fifth or twelfth, hundredth number also! Hey, but why should we slog so much! Wouldn’t foam come out (of our mouth)? Ran to come first and came twelfth, they wouldn’t even offer tea then. What do you think?’

Questioner: It is true.

Dadashri: So, I have done all this arithmetic. Dada’s mathematics! It is a very beautiful arithmetic. This mathematics is so beautiful. That gentleman was saying that this Dada’s mathematics is worth knowing.

Run, run, run, but for what? If you are going to get a rank, then come, whatever has to happen to the body, let it happen; but here there is neither rank, nor prize, nothing at all, and unlimited foam. Did not do anything else, just kept running, running, running for this! Moreover, got disinterested in everything, no interest in food as well!

Competition in Religion

Many a times, even in religion, competition creeps in. For example, I did these many fasts, I have so many disciples, I built so many temples, etc. That action, the purpose of which was, by doing external penance, drive the inner attention towards religion, for that very action, when competition happens, then leave religion aside, attachment-hatred arises instead. Renounced two children at home and acquired disciples in religion, but clashes continued!

Two disciples of one Guru also compete with each other. If Guru is more pleased with one disciple, then the other disciple feels jealous over that disciple, hatred arises. All day long, his attention is riveted on the Guru’s beloved disciple, if he makes even one mistake, he creates a ruckus. Thereafter, when he comes out of the ashram into power, even after years, he takes revenge. Even in religious discourses or debates, one wins and the others lose. Then, losers keep a grudge in mind and when he (the winner) comes in a tight spot, they knock him down!

Enlightened One (Gnani Purush) is the only one who does not get into competition and no one competes with him. One who is free from competition, that only is the real Gnani!