How do you identify negativity and positivity?

The barometer to identify a positive and a negative perspective is that, a perspective that causes unhappiness to others, that causes unhappiness to oneself, the perspective because of which we feel jealous of others and we condemn others or we bind revenge is all negative. Whereas a perspective that is in complete contrast to this, meaning, a perspective that brings happiness to oneself and makes others happy as well is a positive perspective.

In worldly life, mostly negative perspective only is constantly at work although we know that a negative mind will never give you a positive life. Positive perspective is barely used. Positivity and negativity can be identified based on certain characteristics and results, which are as follows:

Positivity finds the good in the adverse

Positive means a perspective inclined towards the good, a vision that finds out good even in the adverse. In every matter, in every place, one can see positive only, that’s called Samyak Darshan or Samyak Drashti (right vision, right perspective).

Those with a positive outlook, while in worldly interaction, can see only good, not only in small matters but even during big occasions. Where there is positive vision, there’s no clash, burning, jealousy, conflict or quarrels within. A person with a positive vision is himself happy. Moreover, those vibrations of positivity reach to people around him also, and hence they also remain happy.

In case, failure comes to a person with a positive vision, he’s not one of those who gets disappointed and sits down. Instead, he keeps trying, maintaining a positive attitude that, “It will happen. Let me try!”

The heart of a person having positive vision is full of feelings and humanity. If someone insults him, “when someone insults me like this, I feel hurt; therefore, I shouldn’t insult anyone like this”, making such positive conclusion, he proceeds ahead. Where there’s positive vision, there is no vindictiveness, grudge, a mental note or any complaint inside. This is an important key to distinguish between positivity and negativity.

Once the vision becomes completely positive, then no matter how much the other person may come and do negative, but negative does not arise within him. The positive perspective in life begins with worldly interactions, and ascending the steps of spirituality, it takes us right up to the Soul.  

An example of positivity

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan explains, how are positive people? Just like when we burn an incense stick, its fragrance spreads in the entire room, just like an incense stick itself burns but gives fragrance to others, similarly, the fragrance of positivity in the positive people definitely reaches to the people near and around them.

Saints and Gnanis themselves are positive. There’s one beautiful life incident in the life of Saint Tukaram. One day, after taking a bath in the river, he was climbing the stairs of the temple to bow in the feet of God. Just then, a man spat on his way! His body became impure due to the spit; this is not how one can go to the temple; so Saint Tukaram once again went to take a bath in the river. He came out after taking bath, and once again, that man spat on him. So then, the Saint again went to take bath. That’s how twenty-one times, he took bath and came out, and twenty-one times, that man spat on Saint Tukaram! But every time, very naturally, without maligning his intentions, he went to take bath. No suffering came to him at all. When the Saint took bath and came out for the twenty-first time, the spitter felt an overwhelming sense of remorse within. He fell in the feet of Saint Tukaram and apologized before him. He felt this Saint has so much of power! With such a positive attitude of Saint Tukaram, the spitter could see his own weakness.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives an example from His own life, where His mother Zaverba, in His early age itself, had planted in Him the seeds of positivity while in a negative situation.

Sustain the beating, but do not beat

Dadashri: Once during my childhood, I had hurled a small stone at someone. His blood came out. So then, I quietly got into the house so that people don’t come to hit me! Zaverba came to know about it.

Questioner: If you hit someone and come, then would Zaverba beat you?

Dadashri: She would make me understand. So then, she told me, ‘My dear, what did you do? Look, he is bleeding. What have you done?’ I said, ‘If not beat, what else could be done?’ So she said, ‘He lives with his Aunt, he doesn’t have a mother. Then who would bandage him and all? And poor lad, he would be crying so much! He must be so hurt! Who will take care of him now? And I am your mother, I will take care of you. So, you come having taken the beating, but do not hit somebody with a stone and make them bleed. If you are hit with a stone, I will treat you. But who will treat that poor child?’

Such a mother makes Mahavir

Questioner: Nowadays, everything is right opposite; nowadays, they say the reverse, ‘don’t you dare get beaten up?’

Dadashri: Not today, from the beginning, it’s been the opposite. It is not because of the current era right now; it’s been adverse from the beginning. This is how the world is! Therefore, ‘Go with a stick the next day’, that’s what our people will say. All signs of hurting others! This mother (of mine) used to teach me good, would teach me everything nice. I liked it very much. Tell me now, would that mother make Mahavir or not? My mother was like that! That incident happened when I was a young child; then later as I grew older, with the increasing understanding, I understood it all. Generally, when one teaches such things, initially one doesn’t like it, right? I liked it. I said, ‘Whatever Baa (mother) says is correct. He doesn’t have a mother, poor boy.’ So, I mended my ways immediately. From then onwards, I stopped hitting.

However, in this Kalyug, we get to see more of negativity rather than positivity. Negativity is not easy to identify directly, but it has many painful consequences, through which we can identify it and distinguish more between positivity and negativity.

Suffering due to negativity

The nature of many people is such that they can see more and more of negative only. Come little inconvenience or pain, instantly, one finds out the negative in there and keeps suffering from it. Alas, those parents who do everything possible in order to raise us since our childhood, yet we forget their favors and can see tremendous negative of theirs! The negative ego has become so sensitive that if someone points out even slight mistake of ours or we have to undergo even a little bit of pain, it gets ready to sever the relationship there. When that negativity increases, the thought of withdrawing from relationships, leaving the home, or finally, even cutting the worldly life short comes to mind.

If somewhere, one does not meet success, the negative outlook places oneself in a lot of suffering. At the time of failure, rather than giving it another try, negative people keep whining like, “I want to do, but am not able to!” due to which internally, their failure keeps getting defended.

Clashes due to negativity

Negative opinions keep getting accumulated for close ones with whom we have to live together for a long duration. Especially, those with a narrow vision cannot see the whole vision in such a situation. Therefore, based on as much they can see, they are quick in giving an opinion and drawing a negative picture. Then, distance starts getting created with the person, which when increases, results into clashes, brawls, and even fights.

If daughter-in-law was hurt by the mother-in-law, then, the daughter-in-law keeps remembering that the mother-in-law did this to me and goes on suffering. Not only that, internally a mental note gets created, gets imprinted on her heart, and until death, this mental note does not get erased. The person who caused hurt has conveniently forgotten, but one who got hurt will continue to remember and suffer. As a result, one constantly remains under burden.

Suspicion due to negativity

People with a negative vision are very doubting and suspicious. Inside, the intellect is working in such a strange manner that even the person himself does not come to know. As a result, people living with them or those coming in contact with them have to suffer a lot. Because that person doubts in every matter and never sees anything right. For example, if husband is talking to another woman and laughing away, the wife gets suspicious, and she asks, “What did you see in her?” The husband also gets suspicious when the wife talks to someone else. As a result, clashes get a foothold in the life of husband and wife.

Negativity takes revenge

This is an overt key to distinguish between positivity and negativity. In case a person with a negative outlook gets hurt from someone, he cannot sit in peace until he takes revenge for it. “He said this to me, I’ll also give him back telling this, this, this. I’ll set him straight”, such thoughts keep running inside him constantly. He tries to give “tit for tat”, meaning, “an eye for an eye”.

For example, in office, if one has been insulted by their colleague or one is jealous of the colleague, then one’s attention is constantly towards that colleague only. If the colleague makes some mistake, one immediately rushes to complain to the superior. If one is insulted in business, then he goes and makes his complaint to the income tax authorities that, “There are a lot of discrepancies in this business.” Then, that other person is in distress, and one derives animalistic pleasure from it.

Negativity finds faults even in the good

There are some people who have an extremely negative mindset. Even when someone does something positive for them, they can see negative only. Even when someone tries to do good to them, they can see negative only.

For example, if someone, with a desire to help, offers them one lakh rupees, a negative person’s mind will think reverse, “He wants to make me look inferior, and then he will denigrate me that I gave money to this man. Am I a beggar?”, although the other person actually has no such bad intention.

Negativity induces nitpicking and gossip

This is the simplest key to distinguish between positivity and negativity. Proving oneself to be superior than others, making constant efforts to prove that, “I am better than others, how the other person is bad”, painting others in negative light is the biggest flaw of negative-minded people. Nitpicking, backbiting and gossip, all of this belongs to the party of negativity only. When two people meet, instead of discussing something positive of a third person, they often engage in negative talks only. There is so much of negativity filled inside that negative discussions of people only are going on. And one does not even realize that I am engaged in negative conversations. Through gossip, continuously prying into people’s personal lives, spreading negative talks, blowing small issues out of proportion, and deriving animalistic pleasure from it is a very severe disease.      

Based on all of the above characteristics, we can understand whether our perspective is positive or negative.  If it seems like our approach is inclined more towards the negative, there is no need to feel hopeless or discouraged. There are plenty of practical keys provided here, which we can use to distinguish between positivity and negativity and move from negativity towards positivity.