I now know whose Mother died...
I took Gnan two and a half years ago. For eleven years up to that day I was deeply mourning my Mother's sudden death. My Mother died abroad and I was not with her at the time. The whole duration that she was on holiday I heard a voice in my head, continuously saying "you are not going to see your Mother again". The voice was not mine, but I remember that it was very calm with a great deal of certainty. It came true; my Mother indeed lost her life due to a heart attack during her journey back home. The very evening after attaining Gnan I immediately realised who I was and whose Mother had in fact died. It was as if I had truly woken up and was surrounded by glorious sunshine. Absolutely everything made sense and an overwhelming sense of freedom and stillness with jubilation began.
It seems impossible to experience three very different feelings simultaneously, but anything and everything is possible with Dada's grace. May all living beings find the light of love and joy that I have found.
Aapna Dada mahaan chhe! Jai Sat Chit Anand!
Background
I am Hemant Mehta from Mumbai aged 27 year and I am a software engineer by profession. I am a Jain by birth. In my family, my mother used to do all the Jain rituals (going to temple, Samayik/Pratikraman, pooja, fasting etc).
Till age of 24 belief was that different religions have different gods and we being Jain have Mahavir Swami as our God. He takes care of Jains. So I used to go temple occasionally and recite Navkar mantra without knowing its meaning. I Used to fast on the last day of Paryushan Parva because everyone used to do it. That was all about religious activity. Then I got married and my wife was very much inclined to Jainism rituals and fasting. At that point of time questions started sprouting in mind. Why all this fasting? What's the fundamental science behind all this?
I started reading about Jainism on Internet, subscribed to mailing lists and started asking questions. This went on for months and got a glimpse of the Vitraag Dharma. I found Jainism very scientific and rational. But still it was all at intellectual level and just in theory. And there was always a feeling of dissatisfaction that something is missing. The puzzle continued.
My search on internet one day took me to www.dadabhagwan.org site and I happened to download the book Fault Is Of The Sufferer . Immediately after reading the book, there was an inner feeling that Yes this is it. This is what I had been searching for. That very moment I had surrendered to Dada. Got completely convinced that these words are from heart and not intellectual. Subsequently, found out details of satsang and took Gnan on 10th Feb. '2002.
Soon after Gnan
Immediately after Gnan I felt if nothing has happened. I was expecting something out of the world to happen. But the same didn't happen. I got demoralized thinking what went wrong. Should I take Gyan again? But I didn't have a iota of doubt regarding Dada's Gnan. Then as days passed by, Gnan started showing its power. Automatic pratikramans started happening. The world started looking innocent. Also during free moments automatically, "I am Shuddhatma" used to start internally.
In the months that followed the Gnan
I am Shuddhatma used to be there only in words and somehow, I was not experiencing the separateness from body. There were loads of intellectual questions. Even after reading Aptavanis, asking questions, reading other books I was not getting satisfactory answers. But I continued attending satsang and reading Aptavanis. Over a period of time, I started getting answers from within inside and the separateness from body also started getting stronger. Answers started coming automatically with Anubhav ... growing inner experience ... and realized that the same was not possible with intellect. At that point of time, felt from within inside that "I am Hemant" belief has been completely fractured.
External experience: in your interpersonal relationships, home and life around you .
Dwesh/abhaav has disappeared to a large extent. And if it does happen, instant pratikramans happen. Previously I had the habit of arguing a lot and trying to prove my point but now even that has reduced.
Any unresolved issues after Gnan.
If any, its my own ajagruti ....trying very best to be as much as possible in Dada's Agnas.
I was always in search of something which makes me happy and stays with me. Something which would be profound, permanent and peaceful.
I am a computer engineer working in Infosys, married to a caring husband. So for outsiders it looked like I was leading a perfect life but within I always felt something was missing. I was an introvert person and always getting hurt, restless by small things/people around me. I wasn't able to express my feelings into words and would remain silent most of the time. But attending gnan-vidhi changed my life also my approach to life completely.
Before taking Gnan:
I used to keep on reading/hearing/feeling and I am sure you must have felt it at some point in your life:
• 'Think positive and your life will be full of positive things'. But 4 out of 5 thoughts are negative I have attended some life science course but all there teachings touched me temporary…a day or two to sometime few days but nothing touched my real inner self to have a permanent effect!!
• 'Change yourself and world will change'…can't see it practically happening as always it comes to me that if fault is of other person why should I change!!
• 'Take control of your life'…but practically I see my work-my life-even my mood-my emotions are in control of people and things around me. Things like my efforts at work not being awarded /appreciated like that of my peer (husband's side family). So why is my mood a remote control is in others hand ? !! If you think otherwise, do ponder over this when you are in low mood swing and you will definitely find something external which triggered it!
• 'If you become angry, it hurts you (physically/mentally) more than anyone else!!' I know this and I have also experienced it. But still when it comes to practically applying it at that very moment I just feel like pouring it out and can't see any long term effect!!
• Why is my life to follow this pattern?…and I keep on getting this strict and stressful client/boss/issue to work with while that person always get easy things to deal with!
• 'Karma theory'…Just keep on doing your karma, don't think of result'. But how ? As I think results is the force that drives us to do any task at first place. So there is something important that I am missing here. In order to know the great preaching of Lord Krishna - which help Arjun to attain 'Moksha' in his very life!!...So what is this Karma Science?
• We all believe that God is within us - within everyone. Why can't I see it in the person I hate!
• Being a Jain, as kid I used to go to pathshala (school for learning Jainism) and hear Jain principals from my father like Syadvad, anekantvad, bhavna, paap-punya are shackles of iron-gold. So both are shackles binding you to sansar, like tirthankars we all can become free from bondage and attain moksha. But as I grew pursuing my studies - career and marriage life, I got busy with life. I was away from Jainism. I would always go to Derasar (Jain Temple) whenever I felt bit down or needed of peace of mind and would recite navkar mantra daily. But it was more for some material thing I wanted!
• 'Life and Death'…if I am going to leave all this love/money/home/status when I die then why do I still have to struggle daily in this rat race for such things? What happens after death? The body of the person we know is still there in front of us after death but there is no life. So who am I really?
I always had such questions on back of my mind and struggled to find an answer by reading books or at times attaining some course/sessions.
Meanwhile my brother and mother who took gnan in 2004 and told me to take gnan but still I was not too keen for it. I thought my life is going well. As I got married, got to go onsite with my hubby. But everything was temporary. It was getting over and again I was searching for something new…
Then looking at the change in my mom… She was always loving while dealing with us but I saw that now nothing was touching her, she was always happy no matter what life was bringing. She was never complaining and that touched me and I used to tell her I want to be like you.
During my long leave I got chance to stay with my Mom read Dadashri's books watch Niruma's TV satsang I got the most needed trigger to attain gnan.
I have got answers to some of my question from TV satsang, books but all my question got answered when I took gnan.
After Gnan Vidhi:
That day my life changed. My approach to life was completely different when I took 'Gnan Vidhi' from Niruma in Jan 2006. In just 2 hours I got connected with my real self. Simply the best experience!!! And it's not only me, all who attain 'Gnan Vidhi' experience the ultimate self-realization and separation. May it be an illiterate innocent lady from small village to professional from any religion over world!!
After Gnan-Vidhi ..… we get connected with our real self. For last almost 6 years I am experiencing this. Now Dipali does get ups and down in her life but applying the 5 keys (agna) one gets during Gnan Vidhi all puzzles get dissolved. At times, if the puzzle was bigger than me then I would get the answer from the daily satsangs which I watch on TV or asking it to Deepakbhai in satsang. You can ask anything and everything and always get logical satisfying answers.
Pujyashree Deepakbhai says…all living being are in search of happiness even ants like sweetness. If you throw salt at ants they will run away, so are all humans. All living beings are attracted towards happiness. It's the property of the soul. The way we require a doctor to cure us - we don't do an open heart surgery by reading books, similarly we need a Gnani Purush to know our real self…Atma. From impure dirty water the real elements hydrogen and oxygen can be separated out by scientific experiment…so this is the scientific experiment of Gnan Vidhi which separates real ' I ' from all ' MY '.
Dadashri and Niruma are no more on this earth. Now only Pujyashree Deepakbhai is with us. So I urge you all do take this opportunity and attend Gnan Vidhi. You need to attend just once. After that you will get a new spec/vision (divya drashti) to see this world and words like Atma, self-realization, liberation, Moksha, raag-dvesh e.t.c …… will not be just words ….but will make a lot more sense…the true sense to you. Real meaning of who am I, Why some bad things\sufferings are happening? What is real aim of this life… that she was doing Artadhyan, raudradhyan every moment never occurred to me? But after gnan even if you know or not you are in Shukladyan! Infact we are here in kalyug means, we have blindly passed entire chovishi in this moh-maya!! So do look out for the Gnan Vidhi schedule. Make all positive bhav (intent) to attain gnan in gnan-vidhi…do take your family and friends…
I use to read the Bhagwad Gita around 3 to 4 times ... but never understood the meaning of it. I also took help of many saints, but I always had some doubts & some contradictions. When I saw Pujya Deepakbhai's Program for the first time, I felt something related to Bhagwad Gita & started watching his program daily. After 6 months I took gnan from Pujya Deepakbhai & felt like I have come in this world for this only. Now I feel the freedom completely. Now I have only last wish that I surrender my entire life in his lotus feet and for Jagat Kalyan….
JAI SAT CHIT ANAND..
Since last two years I was struggling in search of Self Realisation. When my grandfather attended the gnan vidhi programme for first time I was curious about it. He attended the Adalaj Gnan Vidhi Programme when we were in Mumbai. And after 2 yrs I got a chance to earn it too! I feel eternity as my search ends here!
I got it a few days back in Ahmedabad from Pujya Deepakbhai and feel a great difference between who I was and who I am. And I'm very sure that I'm definitely going to reach high enough to meet my beloved Krishna.
Before Gnan Vidhi :
I came from a middle class family, where we have to bear a pressure to acquire a job and support financial conditions. While I was studying BCA, campus recruitments were held, but unfortunately I could not make it. As a result, I went into depression and had taken medicines for almost 3 months. Simultaneously I was going through several clashes in my life, which made everyone upset around me.
After Gnan Vidhi :
This time when I was qualifying for MCA-3rd semester, 13 companies rejected me, but not a single grief and disappointment has affected me mentally. Still with positivity I was trying my best. Today I am a successful professional working with Canara Bank as an officer.
Friends, I really feel that, positive attitude, dedication, concentration, tension free mind, peace and happiness can only be obtain from this Gnan and nowhere else you can find this.
All these things have led me to success. Lastly Gnan helps all!
I took this Gnan in 1992 but was not aware of its greatness
until 1994, when I attended Guru Purnima.
I had obtained a book at the Guru Purnima and my mother had read
the first page and she mentioned that it was really great and
touched her heart. At the time I did not read gujarati as I
had grown up in south India and was not able to read
Gujurati. But another Mahatma gave me the Akram magazine of
Dada. There beneath a picture of Dada were the words
Seek any energy (Shakti) and u shall obtain it." As I enjoy
reading I asked for the energy to read and understand the gnan in
Dada's book. As I knew little hindi I started reading the
books in Gujurati with little words explained by my mother.
The following year 1995 I invited Niruma to visit my house.
On her one day visit she explained some of the words and Dada's
Gnan. From that day I started reading more of Dada's books
and finally mastered reading Dada's Gujurati and since then never
miss reading any of Dada's books and his message and the desire to
go to Moksh (liberation)
Experience at work: While in my daily work I started having
conflict with a new boss in the department. In 1996 as I did
not have access to much of Dada's work, all I had was a cassette of
Dada's 5 Agna. Everyday before going to work I would listen
to Dada's 5 Agna tape and a page of the prayer in the Pratikraman
book. After a month I got transferred to another department
where I worked for a year and found out that my former boss was
fired. I got back my original job and since then faith in
Dada's gnan grew and concluded that Dada's gnan is self working and
without any effort on my part.
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